A Rose, A Note, and A Plate of Cookies
by geekischic
Summary: As Beth struggles with her grief and guilt on Valentine’s Day, she finds comfort in the one man who she’s tried to avoid. Written from Beth’s point of view
1. Chapter 1

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted a fic! This is a little Valentine's Day Moonlight fic that I wrote a little while ago (haven't had time to post it till now). Right now, it's a one shot, but I have an idea of where it can go if I get enough people to review saying that they want me to continue it. This is the first time I've tried to write a fic in the first person (from a specific character's point of view), so please be kind :)

Spoilers: Takes place sometime after episode 11, Love Lasts Forever

Rating: K

Summary: As Beth struggles with her grief and guilt over Josh's death on Valentine's Day, she finds comfort in the one man who she's tried to avoid. Written from Beth's point of view.

_Valentine's Day, Beth's Apartment_

I sigh as I glance at the clock: it's only 7:30. Why must this day go by so slowly? And why must I be alone?

I can't seem to stop walking around the apartment, or stop drinking cup after cup of coffee, while we're on the subject. I just need something to do to pass the time. I would sleep, but I can't close my eyes. Dreams haunt my mind whenever I do. I always see Josh's bloodied body lying on the ground, staring at me with unseeing eyes. I feel the tears roll down my cheeks as I kiss his cold, grey lips, desperately trying to breathe life back into his dead flesh…

Stop it Beth! I shake my head violently, desperately hoping that the physical action can force the thoughts from my mind. Gosh, where is comfort when you need it? Is it lurking in this coffee cup? Or maybe hiding on the other line of the phone? Perhaps outside, hidden in the hustle and bustle of the city?

No, it's invisible to my eyes. I sigh and glance out the window, watching the dying sun bleed its colors over the blank canvas of the sky. Bright blue has been replaced by harsh reds, yellows, and pinks. How ironic, considering today's date.

It's been lonely, being by myself these past few days. I've tried to call Mick hundreds of times, but my fingers lock up and refuse to dial the numbers as I clumsily try to force them to. I know he thinks that I never want to see him again, but the truth is that I just need some time to think before I can face him again.

How could I have been so selfish? How could I have begged Mick to turn Josh into the one thing he despises the most? I'm so ashamed of myself. Now that I've thought about it, I can't see how I could have even considered the idea, let alone beg for it. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against vampires. Good ones, anyway. But I've seen how much Mick hates what he is. How could I possibly ask him to inflict that life on another, just so I could spend more time with him? How could I use Mick like that?

This is why I can't look Mick in the eyes. In one, I see his face as I beg him to turn Josh. The hesitation, the worry, the disgust, it all breaks my heart. And in the other, I see my guilt ridden face as I watch a newly turned Josh struggle to deal with what he is.

I shudder once again. These thoughts come too often now, and I wish that I could somehow rid myself of them. Guilt and regret are the heaviest emotions to carry on your shoulders, no matter what others may argue.

I hear a knock at the front door. Who could possibly be visiting me? My stomach flips as I imagine what Mick's tormented face would look like if I opened the door to find him standing there. The thought freezes me to the spot where I'm standing, and the hesitation prevents me from approaching the door.

The knocking ceases, and I can faintly hear footsteps fade away as my visitor leaves. Curiosity gets the better of me, and I make my way to the door. I open it and glance down the hall in an attempt to see who it was. But I'm too late. They've already left.

When I start to close the door, my eye catches something lying in front of the doorway. I kneel down to pick it up. A plate of cookies is wrapped in cellophane, a rose and a piece of folded up paper taped to the top.

My heart pounds a bit as I stand back up and close the door behind me, wondering if the gift is from who I think it is. I set it down on the kitchen counter and glance at the rose, playing with the silky petals as I run my fingers through them. I remove the note slowly, both anticipating and dreading reading it. I feel my stomach flip once again as I recognize the handwriting. Mick's.

_Beth,_

_I understand that you need some space, but I just want to make sure that_

_you're okay. This is a lot to handle by yourself. Just know that I'm here for_

_you if and when you need to talk. I'm worried about you._

_If you're angry with me, I understand that as well. If you don't want to see_

_me again, well, I guess I'll find out sooner or later. I hope to see you again_

_soon though. I miss you._

_Mick_

_P.S. I thought you might like a Valentine's gift. Sorry if you don't like the cookies (I can't taste them to see if they're good enough or not, but hopefully they're edible)._

I can't help but chuckle as I read the final line, despite the darkness of my thoughts just moments before. It's such a typical thing for Mick to say. I take another look at the rose, noticing that the edges of the petals are starting to turn a little black from their deprivation of water. I take a small vase out of one of the kitchen cabinets and fill it with some water, placing the rose inside so it can drink.

The note lays open on the counter, and I find myself sighing as I read it a few times more. The cellophane has been removed from the plate, and I bite into one of the small cookies the package contained. Surprisingly, I find myself enjoying the sweetness of the little dessert.

I turn away from the note, but Mick's words still bounce around in my mind. _I hope to see you again soon though. I miss you._ Gosh, what do I do? I feel a wave of nervousness fall over me as I consider calling him, but I feel a larger feeling of emptiness at the thought of staying home alone with only my thoughts to occupy me. The phone sits innocently on the counter, next to the cookies, and I hesitantly reach over to pick it up. My fingers feel slightly less clumsy as I slowly dial the familiar phone number and bring the thing to my ear, waiting for his voice to fill the line.

"Hello?" His voice rings in my head as I struggle to find the right words to say.

"Mick." I can almost picture the shock and discomfort on his face as he recognizes my voice. "Beth."

"Mick, can you come over to my place? We need to talk."


	2. Chapter 2

It took him less than five minutes to get here. It feels like I only just hung up the phone with a nervous sigh before I hear another knock at the front door. Damn you Mick! I haven't even had time to figure out what I want to say!

Nonetheless, I walk to the door and open it to find the pensive face of Mick St. John looking back at me. A weak smile spreads across his lips as he greets me. "Hi Beth."

I nod at him and step aside, opening the door wider. "Why don't you come inside?"

He nods in return and takes a step forward. I watch him glance all over my apartment as I close the door behind him. His gaze rests on the rose and cookies still sitting unashamedly on the kitchen counter. A small smile creeps up the corners of his lips as he continues to think to himself.

I play with the sleeve of my shirt and look at the floor as I address him. "I wanted to say thanks."

I can feel his eyes on me and I look up, against my better judgment. That crooked little smile is still settled across his lips as he answers me. "You dragged me all the way down here just to say thanks?" I hear the playful tone in his voice, and the guise of a smile fills my face. I wish it could reach my heart, but it only gets to my lips. "No."

He nods his head, obviously having seen it coming. "Of course not."

I sigh and rub my temple, stalling for time so I can think about what I want to say. "Do you want to sit down?" He nods once again and we make our way to my couch. I still stay silent for a minute or two, preparing myself for the conversation we've both been avoiding. Thank God Mick is a patient man.

With a sigh, I begin my speech. "Well, I think it's about time we talked about what happened." I don't elaborate. He knows what I'm talking about.

I hear him sigh and I look over at him. Pain was clearly written over his face, though I know he's trying to hide it. "Beth I'm sorry."

I'm dumbfounded at his words. Everything I'd hastily planned to say left my mind as I gape at him. "What?"

"I'm sorry Beth. I'm sorry that I couldn't save Josh. I wanted to help him, please realize that. I did everything I could, but I just couldn't bring myself to turn…" His voice breaks, struggling to continue. He clears his throat for a few seconds in preparation for his voice, and he soon continues with his words. "I just don't want you to be angry with me anymore."

My heart is breaking for him. What does he have to be sorry about? "Mick, stop. I shouldn't have asked you to do that for me. I was frantic and desperate." I feel the tears burn my eyes, but I angrily wipe them away. It's too soon to start crying. "There were just things I wanted to tell him. Things I hadn't made time to say. But I shouldn't have asked you to turn him. And for that, I am truly sorry."

I pause and look back out the window. The sunset is fading, slowly turning the sky to black velvet. I focus on it instead of Mick's face. I can't think straight when I look there. "I feel terrible Mick. Ashamed that I was willing to beg you to do the one thing you swore you'd never do."

I hear him inhale deeply and chance a quick glance at his face. His eyes are closed, his face settled into a look of deep concentration. It takes me a minute to realize what he's doing: looking into the past.

"You two cared for each other very much." His voice is quiet as he opens his eyes. God, what did he see? What memories of Josh are still hidden in the air, indecipherable by my human senses?

"Yes." It's a weak answer, I know, but that whispered word is the only thing my voice can manage. I clear my throat, preparing it for the words that I know I still have to speak. "Please Mick, don't be angry with me. I just missed him so much." The tears I've been holding back spill over and flow freely down my cheeks. I don't wipe them away this time.

I feel his hand on my shoulder as I hear his quiet words. "Beth, I'm not angry with you. I never was, and never will be. I thought you were angry with me." I strongly shake my head as I close my eyes. "No, Mick. I'm angry with myself."

A moment of silence settles over us as we're left to our own thoughts. I wish I could tell what he's really thinking. It's not fair that his senses are heightened in so many ways, and mine are still stuck at the mediocre human level.

A few more sighs and sobs from me fill the air as I open my eyes and take a deep breath. "Well, now that we've established that we're not angry with each other, do you think we can try to get back on the road to normalcy? I know it'll take a while, but I feel like I need to move forward. Looking back only prolongs the pain."

He rubs my back gently and soothingly, as if physically trying to relieve my pain. "Moving forward sounds like a good plan."

I nod my head and turn to look him in the eyes once again. A small smile twists into place across my tear streaked face as I talk to him. "Thank you for helping me Mick. I really need someone. I feel so alone…" I sigh deeply once again as another sob threatens to disturb my voice.

His arm wraps around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him as he whispers in my ear. "You'll never have to feel alone again. I'll always be right here for you."


End file.
